Introduction

As usual, I don’t know what I’m doing. After reading two pages of a science fiction book, I thought I was inspired. Well, I thought of a giant lobster mob boss from Louisiana, and an indoor game of football (soccer) on Mars. But that’s it. Maybe those two things were supposed to be in the same world. Well, Louisiana isn’t on Mars, is it?

I said I thought I was inspired. But that’s not how I write, nor how my brain works. It skips between thoughts that have been bugging me to the things and the people that I love. I will think of a space ship, decked out with glowing lights and a holographic chess set. No wait, that’s the Millenium Falcon. And now we’re back to science fiction. Well, I never really left it. Then I will think of meaning of death in ancient cultures. Isn’t there a meme about how the aliens built the pyramids in ancient Egypt?

“Isn’t there a meme?” I’m exclusively a kid of the internet. I don’t remember a time before the internet. And I don’t know how Bill Watterson wrote about Spaceman Spiff in Calvin and Hobbes before the internet. The music I’m listening to made me think of a saloon. I wonder if Spaceman Spiff ever wondered into a space saloon. Decked out with space cowboys, of course.

Saloon

I’ll start with Terry the Lobster. He’s usually in the back of the saloon, managing the money he gets from… well… I don’t know. He never tells me where he gets the money. But it keeps the saloon running. Maybe it doesn’t matter, yet somehow how I know he is extremely unethical. It could be from the red seats with gold plating and the fancy horse statues. It could also be from the mercenaries he hires to do his bidding.

Wait, where is Spiff? Oh sorry, who is Spiff? Spiff is the space cowboy from Bill Watterson’s comic. He is at the bar, playing holographic chess with Gary the bartender. For some reason, holographic chess is still cool in 2021.

Oh shoot, the TV turned off. The sky outside, in Shreveport Louisiana, was the color of a television, tuned to dead channel. To some, that color is black. To some, it is blue. What about the saloon? It has disappeared from the present reality, into the depths of our memories.

Old Western

Never mind, the TV never stopped working. Probably because the show is still in our memories. Terry the Lobster is still there. Spiff is still playing chess with Gary. No…wait, he’s getting up. Spiff starts walking to the door that leads to Terry’s room.

“Ouch!”

Sorry, Spiff, that was the wall, made out of old logs. On the walls, we see the wonderful world of insects, crawling to heights unreachable by Spiff and Gary. They weave in and out with stolen bread from the bar. Oops I got distracted.

Try again Spiff, maybe you can find the door this time…. okay he found it. It’s locked… shoot! No, it’s open. Spiff pulled really hard on the door. It busts open.

Outside

The power cut out. The TV turned off again. Spiff is gone again. Terry stopped counting money. Gary stopped wiping down the counter. How come we don’t have control over the power? How come we’re still sad? Why does the story only last so long before cutting out?

That’s the way it is. The birds keep singing, the insects keep stealing bread, and the clouds keep popping up in the sky. Control doesn’t exist.

Oh! The power’s back on. Why does it keep doing that? Maybe it gives us just enough time to realize that everything will be okay.

Back of the Saloon

Once Spiff burst into the room, he immediately noticed the gold plated couches and the fancy wooden horses. Terry’s henchman come out of their closest, threatening him with scissors and a power cable. No sorry, I meant words. No, I meant death.

Terry nonchalantly counts the money. You think Gary ever notices any of this stuff? Anyways, after being captured and tied up in the back by the henchman, Spiff dreams of being in a comic book. Oh wait, he’s in one right? Spiff doesn’t know how we was created. He has not mother or father. Well, his father is Bill Watterson. But Spiff doesn’t know that. What does he know?

Well, he knows how to play chess. And somehow he knows he’s on a television show. However, he is only on the television show of a young boy in Shreveport, Louisiana. Spiff is very unique.

Cassette Tape

Under the TV, there is a cabinet full of cassette tapes. He pulls one out and puts it into the player. It plays a song titled “Roses” by Jordan Elgie. The song reminds him of music that would play in a saloon.

Suddenly, we’re back in the saloon. Spiff is trying to break out of the TV. No, I’m sorry… the ropes. He is trying to break out of the ropes that Terry’s henchman tied him up in. What did Spiff do wrong?

He did nothing wrong. Yet, he is captured. Tied down by his dreams, ropes, and the noises of dancing people out in the saloon. The birds keep singing, the insects keep stealing bread, and the clouds keep popping up in the sky. Spiff doesn’t have control. Terry keeps counting his money.

Breaking Free

The cassette tape stops playing. Once again, the power has cut off. The boy in Shreveport is surrounded by darkness. However, he is not afraid. He still has his imagination. He still has the birds outside, the insects. Maybe he doesn’t need the TV. Maybe he doesn’t have to have control of the power. The show is in his memories.

The boy is being rational. Everything will be okay.

Within the show, Spaceman Spiff escapes the ropes holding him down. He is set free from Terry and his henchman. He leaves the back of the saloon. Maybe Spiff does have control. Maybe everything will be okay.

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The TV was blank the whole time. It was tuned to a dead channel. Black… or blue. The boy never existed. Spiff, well he is a comic book character.

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I don’t know what just happened. I will never know what that story was. But, somehow I know everything will be okay.

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Either way, thanks for reading.